From the Employment Department of the International Conspiratological Association.
Circulated by Richard F. Masker (Employment Specialist)
IMMEDIATE EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY (Public Notice)
The following organizations have pooled their resources and are sponsoring a new position titled "Magnificence Pontificus" or the Empirical Ruler of the newly formed Aryan National Nazi Association. Much appreciation is given to The "American Democratic Legion," ADL, The "Jewish Domination League," JDL, The "Federal Bailouts for Israel," FBI and lastly, the benevolent fund raising society called "Communism in Action" CIA. We thank these kind, patriotic fun loving organizations.
QUALIFICATIONS FOR THE POSITION (15 requirements)
1. Applicant must be able to swear and use obscene and abusive language extremely effective under all situations. This applicant must be able to speak English and read and write well. Computer skills are a plus.
2. Applicant must be able to fabricate any number of outrageous religious beliefs into one condensed religious organization to totally stifle all common sense and mature reasoning and still draw a fanatically loyal following.
3. Applicant must be a graduate of a scholastically accredited kindergarten level of "Public Education" with emphasis on "outcome based" hate results.
4. Applicant must have extensive experience with mind altering drugs like Angle Dust, Ecstasy, Alcohol and other perception diminishing substances.
5. Applicant must be able to destroy all legitimate, but competing White patriotic organizations through rumor mongering, hate campaigns and advanced character assassination techniques as outlined in the "Protocols."
6. Applicant must be able to operate a motorized ladies tricycle on the runway of a remotely located airstrip in the Southeastern united States. (ROI)
7. Applicant must be able to take the most fundamental truths of the International Jewish Conspiracy and its history and twist them into totally bizarre and incomprehensible ramblings of apparent outlandish nonsense.
8. Applicant must have the ability to lie with complete believability, to maintain absolute credibility while distorting and corrupting all truth and mature logic. This is a prime requisite for this position and the applicant must be currently enrolled by mail order correspondence course in the William Jefferson Clinton Institute for advanced Rhetorical Public Relations Techniques. All tuition fees will be paid by the employer.
9. Applicant must have the ability to appeal to and recruit the very lowest order of White European American Society. This includes providing them with Hollywood style clown suites with little pointy hats and colorful gaudy military type uniforms so as to destroy any credibility they may have and at the same time stifle public acceptance of their message and image. The object here is to make them look totally ridiculous and moronic so they will be rejected by the more intelligent , aggressive and morally responsible sector of the White Goyim (White Militia) society.
10. Applicant must be able to conduct highly profitable fund raising campaigns to drain the members of all property and financial recourses. This is to be done through demanding the "patriot participants" fulfill their "duty and responsibilities," similar to the Zionist ZOG government demanding that the Goyim pay "Their Fare Share" into the IRS "Income Tax" trough.
11. Applicant must be able to instill in the minds of his devotees a total and complete sense of futility in the effectiveness of their efforts. A subtle, but real feeling of defeatism, failure, negativeness and sense of "Lost Cause" must be maintained at all times while proclaiming to the media and his members that "We are victorious and we are winning the battle!!! Blah-Blah-Blah, etc., etc., etc. (an essential qualification!)
12. Applicant must possess the ability to look straight into the CBS Evening News camera and generate total disgust, hatred and absolute embarrassment for his cause by the White sector of the population watching. At the same time the non-Whites will learn to loath and Hate him and his organization. All favorable applicants must have these essential favorable qualities.
13. Only "mentally challenged" ugly, Blond, blue eyed, Southern White Males need apply. Applicants with physical deformities and speech impairments will be given special consideration. Women need not apply.
14. This applicant MUST possess the rare and specialized talent of maintaining in the minds of all Law Enforcement that his organization is a deadly armed terrorist threat to the public and a cunning enemy of "The >Police Pigs" everywhere. He must instill this "Hate the Police" mentality into all his followers, so as to increase their propensity to commit "White Hate Crimes" and enhance the revenues of the "Law Enforcement Growth Industries." This increases the incarceration of his followers and ensures that more media publicity will feed his own glorious and orchestrated Celebrity Status.
15. This "Leader" should have (but not required) advanced knowledge of the use and maintenance of "Weapons of Mass Destruction," Firearms and High Explosives. This special talent will help support OUR politicians and courts to "Justify" sponsoring and passing stringent legislation against White Hate, White Terrorism and for total gun confiscation. If this employee is lacking in these essential skills, our highly professional Mossad trained "Educators" will provide the necessary training at the employer's expense.
THIS POSITION HAS AN EXCELLENT COMPENSATION PACKAGE WHICH INCLUDES THE FOLLOWING PERKS:
(A) Nation-Wide/WorldWide constant (Chosen Tribe) media coverage which will instantly make this qualified applicant a global household name and elevate him to enormous "celebrity Status" through the Judeo/Marxist, New World Order controlled "Free World Media."
(B) The successful applicant will be protected by the most advanced technology and highly skilled Israeli trained personnel available. This protection will be provided only as long as the "Chosen" employee adheres faithfully to "Our Corporate Cause." After that, this employee's talents will be used to their very end for other highly important purposes of the employer's choice.
(C) This employee will be highly financially compensated from time to time for personal and "Special Projects" uses that this employer may find necessary.
Serious Applicants can apply by sending their history of crime and subversions, plus their academic achievement records to the following address:
THE SOUTHERN PERNICIOUS LAW CENTER, SPLC
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington D.C. New Republic of Israel (NROI)
E-mail us at: firstname.lastname@example.org
All applicants will be screened and sent the results of their standings if they send us a self addressed business envelope with a $75.00 postage donation enclosed. Thank you for your consideration and interest in this Quality "Not-So Equal Employment Opportunity Position."
THE INTERNATIONAL CONSPIRATOLOGICAL ASSOCIATION
6848 N. Government Way #114-22, Coeur d'Alene, Republic of Idaho 83815
www.conspiratology.com or email@example.com